What happens to your relationship with your stepchild after divorcing your parents? This is a difficult question to answer because the lines are very blurry. Mediation can help.
If the stepchildren live with you during their marriage with their parents, you may have a close relationship with them, and sometimes they feel closer than your biological father. This is not uncommon, especially when there are many conflicts between natural parents. Or, you may be the only mom or dad they know.
Mixed families may also include children you are together. These children think that your stepchildren are their brothers and sisters and often have strong connections with them.
If you are a mixed family experiencing separation or divorce, and there are good connections between parents and stepchildren, here are some questions to consider in your parenting plan:
o What is the time for childcare?
o How will this work when a step-child has a meeting with a natural parent?
o If there are children from this marriage, how will you ensure that they can also spend time with their stepchildren?
o If both parties have stepchildren, are they connected to each other, which is good for maintenance?
Although the court is well aware of parenting plans for children in marriage, they can be roughly different when asked to adopt a plan that includes stepchildren. The court began accepting the idea that a step-parent can have as deep a psychological bond as a natural parent. Although the court ordered that childcare programs involving stepchildren appear more frequently, it is safer to develop their own agreements than to leave these important issues to the courts unpredictable.
Mediation is particularly helpful in helping couples address the complexities of maintaining and supporting the relationship between parents and children in mixed families. In mediation, you can try a variety of different types of plans that may be right for you. When you are having trouble, the mediator will help you explore more options.
Creativity is the key. Just as creativity makes your mixed family work first, creativity can help your mixed family mitigate the pain of separation and divorce.
©2008, Mary Wollard, JD, Family Solutions Center, LLC
Orignal From: Step-Children and Divorce - Parenting Program for Mixed Family
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