When you have a child who doesn't seem to be able to get along with your new step-parent, the first thing you have to do is take a step back and look at the situation objectively. In order to solve this problem, you should ask yourself a few questions.
The first question is, "Why?" Is this just a normal adjustment problem or a defect? Most mixed families have difficulty adapting to step-parents and their children to join the family. Most of the time you can try to respect each other and give it time, and suddenly everything will be implemented. Sometimes it's not that simple. This is when you start to delve into the cause of the problem. There are many things to consider this, and there are a few things that can help solve this problem.
First, talk to your child. Ask them what their story is, then listen. You may not be able to get the exact facts, but you should be able to understand it. One thing you need to emphasize is that you are not trying to replace their other biological parents. They don't have to dislike their new stepfather to prove their loyalty to their biological parents. Explain to your child how a stepfather is another person for them rather than competing with them. Assure them that you have enough love to give them and your new spouse at the same time.
Children may blame their stepfather for conflict, but don't immediately think they are wrong. Remember, this is new to your partner and your child, so they may not know how to make it successful. One of the big mistakes made by many new stepparents is trying to be a partner for children. Although it is helpful for children to like them, it is more important to respect children. Your partner is an adult and your child needs to treat your partner as an authority rather than a friend.
In addition, you need to ensure that your partners and the stepchildren establish a good line and stick to it. Otherwise, the children will go around them.
On the other hand, your new partner must realize that they are not their substitute parents, can't walk into their lives, respect and give orders. Disciplining your child, not the new step-parent, is your [parental] job.
Here are some things to avoid that will help. One important thing is not to let your child participate in your maritime problems. No matter how angry or hurt you are, don't say anything bad about your child's partner. This applies to the parent of the parent and the new level. In addition, new step-parents should not ask the child to keep the other parent's secret. This is just looking for trouble. New parents should also avoid quarreling with their children. You can disagree, but after you ask for your question, please give it up. Children often like to forgive because they certainly think they are always right. If you can let them know that you disagree and walk away, you can save yourself a lot of pressure.
If these suggestions don't seem to help, then maybe you have to start asking yourself some very tricky questions. Is it possible for a new step-parent to sexually abuse your child? What you are saying is: "There is no chance. But many times, people" like this "to hide part of themselves very well. This may not be what your child will tell you. Look for signs. A classic sign other signs include grades Decline, retreat, lose weight quickly or gain, and severe mood swings or violence. If you find any of these things, get some professional help immediately to find out exactly what happened. Don't sit back and tell yourself that this is not your child's real Wrong.
Whether your child is being abused or not, you may need some extra help. A reputable consultant who specializes in mixed families may be the answer. Even if you just adjust the problem, you may not be able to fix them yourself. There is nothing to blame for help. However, the problem of sitting down and jumping over you will go away on your own.
Another consideration is to solve these problems before you and your partner say "I am willing". Talking to your child about their future stepfather education can go a long way in easing the transition after the wedding. The more problems and concerns that are addressed, the greater the ease of use. After this advanced work, you should still have problems.
The border, respect and honesty all come down to this. If you can build mutual respect between your child and your spouse, they will get along very well. They may never really like each other, but they are not necessary. As long as they respect each other, you will have a happy home. Or at least a home without constant fighting.
Orignal From: When your child can't get along with their new step-parent
No comments:
Post a Comment