Second marriage and stepchild

But like most questions, there are things you can do when you have a stepchild and still enjoy a relatively cohesive second marriage. The first thing to understand and realize is that anything worth having takes time and effort. In addition, be aware that realistic expectations will be known:

- Mixed families will not be an immediate, caring family;
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- The stepchild will not automatically love you;
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- They do not necessarily respect and obey you;
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- They may be unfair to you;
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- They may not think and behave like adults;
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- Your child's biological parents do not always agree with you;
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- Your biological parents may not think you are as fair as your child;
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- Non-imprisoned biological parents may experience problems during holidays, special events and school activities;
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- You may have to live up to the memory of the deceased parent or spouse;
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- The biological parents may not believe that the step-parent's enthusiasm for the child is so;
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- You or your spouse may be abandoned, feel embarrassed or may be dissatisfied with your partner's children, or even dislike them because of the close relationship between the biological parents and their children.

Before marriage, it is important that both spouses consider the following factors to avoid power struggles and misunderstandings after marriage:

- Talk about your relationship - its strengths and any concerns you may have.
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- Learn some tips for communication and conflict resolution. Open communication will help solve most of the difficulties.
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- Talk about money and how everyone handles money. Are you working on the same page in family finance?
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- How do you deal with differences?
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- How do you imagine spending leisure time?
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- Discuss personality issues such as neatness or messiness, organized or unorganized, stable or impulsive.
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- Develop a plan for how to deal with difficult times.
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- Discuss the child's aversion to the new union, create a happy family unit and how to deal with any problems.
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- Discuss the feelings of each stepchild and why they did it.
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- Decide not to rush to get married before discussing potential issues and reaching a solution.

After the marriage, hold a family gathering when there is a problem. Establish positive engagement with stepchildren and do not initially bind them until trust is established. Leave discipline to your biological parents. Consider all things and choose your battle wisely. Mixed families can be very complicated, with many grandparents, aunts and uncles, and brothers and sisters.

With so many people involved, it is especially important to keep your temper, be patient, and open the door to communication.

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