A large family is quite orderly and requires many adjustments. Special attention needs to be paid to Stepchildren to prevent offsets, which can make life very difficult.
Dealing with Stepchildren is difficult in itself, and if their parents are always standing by them, things will get out of hand. I believe that the reason parents will bring a child is because the other parent is not around. He may be responsible for it in some way, or he may feel that he is powerless to prevent the absence of other parents, such as in the case of death, so he may overindulge the child or child. No matter what his reasons are, he still has no reason to ignore us.
I am in a big family, this is a problem in my family. My husband will put his child next to me. He said that this is not true, but I can see that it does exist, and it does cause some problems between us. I used to consider divorce because I don't want to stay in the relationship that the children are responsible for. Then the Lord spoke to me and said that he would insist on himself.
Relationships should have an order. God should be a husband or wife first, then a child. No child should be ahead of the spouse. If he is so then the marriage will be nervous.
As I said, the Lord told me to insist on myself. I began to stand up as a wife to defend myself. If there is a disagreement, I will be prepared for my own considerations. I calmly spoke to my husband and pointed out that he placed the child near me. Initially it went well, this is a process, especially when habits are formed, it takes time to eliminate. Therefore, whenever I see it appear again, I will draw his attention. It didn't go well every time, but I didn't back down because I had God to support me.
In such cases it is easy to resent the children, but this is not the right thing. In order to maintain a good relationship with them, I continue to treat and respect them, but I will let them know and tell them that I am responsible because I am an adult.
My husband is a professional truck driver and often he is not at home, which means that I am at home with the children. In the beginning, they thought they didn't have to do what I asked for, but I insisted on them. I mean what I said, if I promise to do something for them, I will do it. I talk to them with respect and tell them the right thing. If they are wrong, I will let them know that the most important thing is that I will not be afraid of them or what they will say to their father. They quickly got information about who is responsible, and now they are unlikely to go over to find their father.
My husband has put his child by my side but when I talk to him, it is private. I don't want kids to use it to take advantage of it. In some cases, children won't like their Stepparent, and if they know that their parents will always be on their side, they will definitely use it to hurt Stepparent. This is why the discussion should be private.
We should give spouses the opportunity to change everything with their children. We should not expect it to happen overnight because there is a connection between them. He needs time to find a solution to the problem. This shouldn't be a long time, because it means he won't try to change things, but if we see something that didn't happen before, it shows that he is trying to solve the problem. One important thing we should look for is these simple little words; let me talk about you first [you]. This shows that we are important to our spouse, and he is not just continuing what they want without asking us.
This process may take a while, but the main thing to remember is that we are spouses and we are ahead of children. If we need to assert ourselves, then do it because it will make the relationship better.
Orignal From: Advice on dealing with a spouse who always takes a child
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