When I was dating a beautiful lady, I remember some corrections about her son. After all, I will be his stepfather. As an experienced and impartial observer, I can look at things more objectively than pretty ladies.
Although my previous parenting experience was clearly lacking, I knew it was useful to me when I was young, so I have to have authority to some extent. Yes, that's right. At that time, I didn't think much about what I said or the way I said. I must have thought that I knew she knew that I meant very well, so she would understand my bull in the company closet.
But from her face, I can say that she is a hoe instead of a hunchback in an unstable game.
Where does all this anger come from? It was not until later that I realized that parents did not want to hear criticism about their children or their parenting ability. So how do you talk about your child without Khan Wrath?
Put yourself in your partner's shoes
Your partner may feel guilty about the child's current situation. Remember that children mourn the death of their first family through divorce or death of their biological parents.
If it is a divorce, your partner may hurt your life and cause them to spend their childhood between the two families. Expressing your understanding of your partner and your support for their commitment to being a parent will help them maintain a defensive shield.
Where and when you said
The conversation about the child needs to be made at the place and time when the child exceeds the hearing distance. The conversation should take place when both of you are calm and have not responded to what the child did or did not do.
what do you say
Remember to use the "I" statement and avoid using the "you" statement. For example, "I feel frustrated when Bob makes a sound to you." By contrast, "you need to tell Bob not to make a sound when talking to you."
In the first statement, your partner may feel awkward/shame, but at the same time hope that they can understand your wishes and let your partner respect and respect their children.
The second statement is very likely to cause defense and resentment. Not to mention spending the night on the couch.
Avoid using triggers such as "You are forever..." or "You will never..." and "You go there again."
Also consider your nonverbal communication. Your arms crossed, are you blinking? Are you using satire or expression preparation, or are you rolling your eyes? Do you use aggressive gestures such as accusing or raising your voice? Or are you calm, sitting next to your partner, maybe gently touching?
It is important for your partner to know that you are speaking from a place where they love their children and their children. Let your partner know that your goal is to build a great family with them.
Let it go
Are you too sensitive to your child's behavior because you are looking outside? Check it yourself. Do you often react to their negative behavior? Do you respond to their positive behavior with the same frequency and energy? Balance and moderation are the goals here. I thought of the phrase "progress is not perfect." The children are not perfect, by the way, you are not.
Correcting and never praising your stepchildren forever is a quick way to build resentment and hinder your steps, but not just your partner. You don't want to be called jealous, picky, picky, etc.
Let your partner and step-child brother know that they are a good parent and a great child, which is why you want to be part of their lives. By steadily establishing a positive balance of praise and praise, you will be able to talk to your partner about the rights of your child.
Your parents may be doing a great job of improving your ability to become a mature and responsible adult today, but understand that there is a way to raise a child and achieve the same goal. If it is not life-threatening or illegal, ask yourself what happens if you let go.
Orignal From: What did you say to my child?
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