After a night of Las Vegas debauchery, a man woke up in a groggy way, finding a woman wearing a dress at the bedside. On the bedside table, he saw a wedding photo that looked like a formal wedding chapel. He hurriedly put on his glasses and covered his mouth in shock, because he realized that he was the one in the photo.
Although the woman's face was partially covered, he noticed the cheap wedding ring on his finger. He saw an open wallet. He rummaged through her handbag and found her wallet. He looked at her driver's license and saw her name is Christina - he already knows what her last name is.
Before he closed her bag, he found a large piece of paper written in crayon, starting with dear mother. The sober person now realizes that he is not only a new husband, but also a new stepfather.
How to do it
When a couple is dating, they will make contact and fall in love before deciding to marry. In the same way, if a child is involved and your relationship is moving towards the altar, you should start pursuing your future stepchild. The goal is to establish connections and develop relationships before making a marriage.
When a partner is still considered a parent's boyfriend or girlfriend rather than being a step-parent, it is easier and less stressful to establish relationships with potential stepchildren. If you already have a child and your partner needs to understand and accept this fact, then you will become a package deal.
Don't be Santa
A common mistake made by many prospective parents is to give gifts to the fiancé children in an attempt to purchase their feelings. The first problem is that children know that someone is trying to buy their love. They are smart enough not to fall off because of bait.
The second problem is that your child may start looking forward to your gift, unless you are a father, Warbucks, which will ultimately put pressure on your finances. Or even worse, you help create a spoiled boy and expect everything they want.
Finally, you run the risk of not achieving the desired results, and your stepchildren may be dissatisfied with your attempt to bribe their love. The feelings and trust of the stepchildren comes from spending time and energy to build a true relationship with them - rather than trying to push it to them.
Interested in children
One of the best ways to connect with new stepchildren is to be interested in what they are interested in. If the child is not open to what he or she likes, then talking to the biological parent may provide a starting point. If the stepchild is interested in animals, going to the zoo may provide a good opportunity to combine.
Older children may be more difficult to identify and have fewer opportunities to integrate with them. Providing help with homework or being interested in their favorite video games may not be the strongest to start building relationships, but it is a start.
Let your child participate in your interest
Although you are interested in the interest of future stepchildren, you can also let your stepchildren participate in your interests. A child already knows their biological parents and has many opportunities to participate in them and their interests. One of the easiest ways to get a new stepchild into their new or potential stepfather's life is to get them involved.
For example, if you are ready to be part of the Bowling League, kids may not mind going to the bowling alley to see or even participate in the competition. At the same time, it is important to ensure that stepchildren can spend time with their biological parents. This is especially true for children in a state of joint supervision.
Under joint supervision, your stepchildren will spend only a limited amount of time with their biological parents. You should help ensure that your stepchildren maintain a healthy relationship with their biological mother and father.
Take it easy
The biggest gift you can give to your new stepchild is time. Remember, your stepchildren are saddened by the loss of their nuclear family. They need time to adjust to the fact that their biological parents no longer live in the same family.
They may need more time to accept that one or both of their parents find others fall in love with others. It will take at least a few years for a step-parent to truly establish a healthy relationship with their stepchildren. This can be made easier if the future step-parent starts contacting the child before the wedding.
Orignal From: How to develop a relationship with your Stepkids
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