As a step-parent has its own ups and downs, anyone who has a relationship with someone who already has children should be prepared for the challenges of the future. Each relationship will face one or two questions at a time or another, but the most important thing is to know how to face the problem and find a solution.
Not every step of the child can accept "strangers" into the family, and sometimes quite reasonable, they may suspect people who are now married to their parents. Step by step parents from time to time to prove their trust and recognition to the children. Although there is no problem - if all the efforts of the step parents are still unable to do anything through their stepchildren, there will always be problems.
Some children will never accept their parents' new spouses and will unscrupulously ensure that life is a pain for newcomers in their parents' lives. So you may want to ask how to let the child drive the wedge between you and your spouse.
First step - there must be trust between you and your spouse
Make sure you and your spouse have the same wavelength. Children should be very clear that you and your spouse communicate everything, and the children will find that they can't use anything to deal with you. A stepmother who doesn't like you will try to use anything against you to let their parents start to doubt their trust in you.
If there is no secret between you and your spouse, you win half the battle and you have a way to talk about everything.
Step 2 - Talk to your stepchild
If you find that your stepchildren are always trying something or another thing to bring problems to you and your spouse, you may want to say a word to them. However, this will depend on their age. Let them know that you love their parents, this is why you are in a relationship. Explain to them that you have not taken their parents. If this is one of the reasons why they don't want you in life, then they need to understand that the relationship between children is different from the relationship between two adults.
For some stepchildren, this is everything they need to know and they will be fine. For one reason or another, some children who have grown up have only lived with their parents for a long time, and they will find some newborns as a threat to enter their lives. Some people even think that their parents will no longer have time to accompany them. Some of these insecurities need to be eliminated by your parents.
Step 3 - Let your spouse talk to them
Sometimes children need a little guarantee from their biological parents. You may wish to allow your spouse to talk to them and let them know that having a step at home will not reduce their love for them.
Step 4 - Talk to the kids together
Maybe you two must talk to them together. Your child may never stop trying to create a wedge between the two of you until they see the united front of both of you. Talking to them together may convey information. It may show them that you are now part of their life and they should give you an opportunity to show you in a long-term relationship.
In addition to talking to the children, you may want to make sure that you do a few things together and let the children see this.
Orignal From: How to deal with the steps children drive wedges between you and your spouse
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