The treatment mode of self-esteem development
Years ago, as a young graduate student, I listened to one of my favorite professors. Dr. Alan Anderson of the University of Minnesota discussed the role of birth order in the development of self-esteem. As a behaviorist, my response to this method of human growth and development is mainly to regard this concept as irrelevant.
Dr. Anderson put a series of identical metal rocking chairs in his office and brought back a lot of special memories, because my father bought one for my mother when I was born. I shared this with Dr. Anderson. He told me that when I finished my Ph.D., if I could hear him and understand his ideas more fully, he would successfully give one of his to me and inherit from my parents. That one. In the long, lengthy discussion that took years, he won me and began thinking about a completely different direction. Therefore, I will attribute what I want to write to Dr. Alan Anderson.
Dr. Anderson's ideas have increased my clinical observations for many years. I often teach these concepts to my students, and they return to my report to emphasize that these concepts are helpful to them in their own clinical practice. Recently, several of my students took me to lunch and asked me to write these concepts in writing so that they could benefit from them. I chose to take a personal and anecdote approach to this presentation, rather than a rigorous academic and research-oriented approach, although revisions may appear.
Over the years, I have come to believe that the initial stages of self-esteem development are related to the quality of relationships between parents or important adults in the child's environment at birth. Children don't need to be told where they are from - they can feel it by nature. Mothers often report that somewhere in the first trimester of pregnancy, they feel that the personality of this developing baby has a certain quality, but this is a completely different topic, not my focus.
My description of this process begins at birth. At birth, the child has the ability to observe his or her environment. An important part of observation is the ability to observe how their mother is treated. The first gift the child received was from their observation of the way the mother was treated. If the mother is considered a valuable and valuable person, then the child will automatically assume that he or she is also a valuable and valuable person. I often tell my father how important it is to treat and interact with his wife. Father must always respect the child's mother. They should always treat her and talk to her in a way that clearly shows that she considers she a valuable and valuable person and has the same power and authority to manage family affairs.
Over the years, what I learned from Dr. Anderson led my thoughts and observations. I think that before the second child appears, the first child in the family will get the attention of both parents. At this point, he or she turned his attention to his father because of his mother's concern for this new family. If this connection is established between the child and the father, the process of developing strong and stable self-esteem in the child will continue to move in a positive direction. When this emotional connection and connection does not occur, the child may encounter great difficulties in adult life. The first principle is that the self-esteem of the largest child in the family depends to a large extent on the quality of the emotional bond and the relationship between the first child and the father.
The second child seems to rest comfortably with the mother. The second principle is that the second child's self-esteem in the family depends on the quality of the emotional bond and the relationship between the second child and the mother.
The third child entered a balanced system and became the "watchman" that Dr. Anderson said. The child seems to focus on observing the quality of the relationship between parents and actually seems to be responsible for maintaining this relationship. The third principle is that the self-esteem of the third child in the family depends to a large extent on the quality of the relationship between the parents.
The fourth is the "garbage collector." He or she seems to take away the rest and is influenced by the power and quality of the entire family system. The fourth principle is that the self-esteem of the fourth child in the family depends on the quality, structure and stability of the family relationship.
With the fifth child, the process starts over and only needs a little more. The self-esteem of the fifth child in the family depends on the quality of the emotional bond and relationship between the fifth child and the father and the largest child.
Using it as a starting point can bring great benefits to clinicians. If my client is one of the oldest children and has self-esteem issues, it makes sense to ask at least the relationship between the client and the father. If this is valid, you save some exploration time - if not, without any loss.
Self-esteem begins in childhood. Sustained success experience supports self-esteem. Self-esteem is a feeling of one's own feelings. This is a quiet response to the self - a feeling of self-esteem. When you are deep inside - you are very happy that you are you. With it, you don't need to impress others, you know that you have value. Everyone's judgment of self affects the friends they choose, how they get along with others, the people they marry and their productivity. It affects creativity, integrity and stability. Self-esteem is the core of personality and determines the individual's ability to use one's own abilities and abilities. The therapist helps the client build a firm and wholehearted self-belief. Strong self-esteem and self-esteem are based on the belief that they are lovely, they are only of importance and value because of their existence. If they think they have value, they can handle their environment and they know they can provide something for others.
Orignal From: Establish self-esteem
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