There has been a lot of writing about stepmother education, but you have found very few resources and can guide you on how to become a good stepfather. Probably because most men are not directly involved in raising children, but becoming a stepfather may be one of the hardest parts of a follow-up marriage.
But if everyone in the relationship remains realistic about each other's expectations, then life can be a stepfather. First, some children may think that the stepfather is a threat or a competition - the mother's attention must be spread between her new husband and the child, and it was only the child after the father left. Maybe the kids even think that you are the reason why mom is replacing dad, so you have to move slowly and carefully. Don't push yourself into the life of your stepchildren - give them a lot of time to adjust to your life. Let them discover good things about you instead of presenting them with your credentials.
Many stepfathers have made mistakes in establishing authority over children too early, and children hate this! Let their mother deal with the problem as early as possible, but be aware of the opportunities you can get involved and let them build trust in you. This can be done through casual conversations where you can open up and share their feelings with you.
Pay attention to marriage as much as possible instead of stepchildren. What makes children like and love you the most is to see that you are very caring for their mother. Bring their mother to do what she likes to do; occasionally invite the children to participate. A relaxing activity dedicated to bringing pleasure and enjoyment to all is always a good breeding ground for developing relationships with stepchildren.
Treat everyone fairly, including your own children, if you get them from your previous marriage. The biggest dilemma for fathers and stepfathers is to compare children and stepchildren. Of course, you will always have a closer relationship with your biological child, so you have to work hard to build fairness.
Being a stepfather is always challenging, but if you have the right actions and emotions, it will be a pleasant experience for you and your stepchildren. But pay attention to reality and limitations, as well as new possibilities to build good relationships with your own children.
Orignal From: Becoming a stepfather's challenge
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