There has always been some shame in long-term relationships. From magazine articles to online forums and the entire site dedicated to love and dating techniques, almost everyone has a topic about how to restore relationships and spark. They showcase statistics and colorful infographics - as if to ease this blow - how the relationship pushes them over time, they quote scientists, they will quote more numbers and charts. But have they shown all the truth and only the truth?
No.
Ephesus Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher known for his revolutionary doctrine, said that the only "constant life is change." In other words, everything around us is changing, changing, and changing. This will eventually lead to a series of reactions, and we will inevitably adapt or grow in a never-ending cycle of change.
This inevitably changes the paradigm of our relationship - not because our relationship is going downhill, but because we are changing as independent individuals. But not all changes are bad. In fact, most of them are welcome and should be encouraged. Why don't we want our partners to be the best version of their own, not for us, but for their own personal achievements?
Of course, some relationships have indeed reached a stagnant stage, and everything has become routine, from the expression of the wedding to what happened in the bedroom. Unfortunately, the Internet has caused a fire, and they have placed thousands of doubts in the minds of people visiting their websites for advice. If you are on this page, then your relationship is definitely wrong. Your partner may be cheating on you. If you no longer have sex, then you need to start loving yourself first. Of course, some may be viable suggestions, but not for everyone.
My boyfriend and I have spent three wonderful years together. From the days when I went out to eat, I always have a long way to go. Now, we have learned to enjoy simpler things; we don't need to surprise the flowers with flowers, and we don't need to go to the upscale restaurants to enjoy ourselves. Instead, we found the overall satisfaction of spending time cooking with each other and working on our projects in different corners of the same room.
This 180 degree change is caused by many factors. Not only are we more comfortable with each other 300%, but we have created a bond that is deeply rooted in our survival. We are independent in many ways, but our foundations are interrelated; our hopes and dreams for the future have adapted to each other's needs and needs, and we have no other way.
But how do we not only maintain this level of intimacy, but also develop it into a new form of love and desire over the past three years? Why didn't we hit the rut?
I don't have any answers to this, but I know that my partner and I are not afraid to try new things. In addition to planning our next adventure and working with a group of friends to plan for the next weekend, we try new things separately. I have accepted boxing and he has two nights a week at the cafe next door - this is a miracle. Never planned; these are just the reasons why we went for it. Now, we are not only fascinated by our new hobbies, but we can always tell each other.
Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and insightful speaker on interpersonal relationships and sexual behavior, he said, when we see their elements, whether on the stage, in the gym, or with brushes or instruments We will be most interested in our partners. Her words can't cause more resonance.
According to my experience, the second key to a successful relationship is to taste every moment together. This means enjoying a silent dinner and singing loudly to the backstreet boys in the car. This means solving your boyfriend's problems when he puts on his clothes and starts wrestling. This means that he strokes his hair while he is sleeping on your knees on Friday night. This means realizing how precious every moment is - after all, isn't that the meaning of life? When we were separated, we realized how much we missed them, and with this gratitude, all the bonds were strengthened.
So yes. The relationship has indeed changed, but it is perfectly fine, because the relationship must change. They need to grow, they need space for the bad and good, they need to adapt to the curve of life. Hey is welcome - what it can do for you can surprise you!
Orignal From: The beauty of long-term relationships
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