It seems that you made the right decision. The road you are going to look doesn't look so terrible. It is difficult to determine to walk along another road. We know that this choice is the best. There are many ways to prove that this decision is correct. In your mind, this is true for your child. Only if you have a vision can you see the dangers in your decision.
I wrote these words from my experience. There was a time when I stood at the same crossroads. My choice is the same: stay or go. Young and immature, my rationalization led me to leave. Her mother has no choice of luxury. Although I have proved this in my mind, there is no reason to give up a child. Giving in fear never leads to a healthy conclusion. This is the most selfish act.
Around me, I saw men making the same choices. This makes me sad because I know the result of their choice. Today, I have the insight that I lacked many years ago. After seeing it, it is really 20/20. If I have to do it again, I will choose another path. The one I chose became harder. This is pain and frustration. Once you get out of the door, re-entry is very dangerous. We can make up for a lot of life; time is not one of those things.
I see a lot of people believe that they are doing the right thing. The most common argument is that I can't make money here. The other is the inability to get along with the mother. Both of these situations may be true. However, they do not apply to relationships with children. Your child cares little about the money you make. This child does not care about toys - he/she or her toys. Once you leave home, your relationship with your mother is secondary. The important thing is that your offspring are there. This is crucial.
The children are very flexible. They adapt to the surrounding environment. Regardless of the form of family dynamics, they will adjust. The question is, how much can you adjust? Don't be surprised if you know that your decision will generate many other factors that you have never imagined. Are you willing to endure the pain caused by these factors? Since you may not be aware of the potential pitfalls you have chosen, your chances of preparing for these traps are slim.
My experience is that you need to give up the money. In addition, do the necessary conditions to get along with the mother. Don't play and be responsible with your friends. Quit alcohol/drugs so you can be a father. This is your most reasonable choice. If you choose to continue what you are doing, the road ahead will be even harder.
There was a time when I chose to leave my child's life. This single choice made me move away from my daughter in the first 5 years. She doesn't even know what I am pursuing. During that time, another man walked into her life and became her "dad." Even today, even if she understands my biological connection with her, he is still called. This is my life in my daily life. My choice made me give up my position as a child's father.
It was too late after I got enough courage to try to solve the problem with my daughter. It is impossible to enter after 5 years. Although I let the court approve my re-examination, I don't have my child. Her entire world is seen as the foundation of it. Someone in this age group has a hard time understanding what is happening. In her opinion, the only world I know about her is a destruction. This has led to many fears that are seen as anger. We often don't know how much our decisions will affect children.
If you think it's easy to get back to the original point, please think again. My daughter spent another five to six years before tolerating me. As mentioned above, I am still not her "dad". I will never. My decision treated this role. I have to accept that I have no hope of doing this relationship with my father and my sister. This is reserved for the person who chose to live in her life, even if the child is not biological.
My only hope is to be her friend. My job now is to love her in whatever she allows. I support her and expect no return. I don't have any meaning in this relationship. I chose to leave. I am a guest in her life and have been demoted to such an act. On the day I made a fateful decision, my rights disappeared out of the window. The court may say one thing, but the mind of an abandoned child will say something completely different. Finally, only her point of view is important.
So you have decided to stay or go. I know that the road to go looks much easier. Don't be fooled. This is really a tougher route. This decision will affect the rest of your life. Learn from my experience and make sure it is done right. Your relationship with your child's mother is important. The best I hope is friendly in the department. No matter how much money, money can't replace the father's love. All your selfish desires and wishes can now satisfy you, but in the future you will leave a big hole. Then, I can guarantee you.
There is only one choice here; that is to stay. Become part of your child's life. This is not to say that you should stay with your mother. Some people do not belong to one person at all. Two people who killed each other failed to create a suitable home for their children. It is usually best to let all participants share their points.. However, being part of your child's life is always the best option.
I said that it is not for him/her, but for you. I can only speak as a person who abandoned my child. This kind of pain is caused in my life. This is not something I want another man. Not only did I feel the pain in my heart, but it also doubled when I considered the pain I caused to her. My decision affected people who were completely innocent in this situation. I can assure you that this is not what you want.
Learn from my mistakes. It will save you a lot of pain. You are not aware of the disastrous consequences of your decision to leave. It's easy to do; I also became a victim of it. However, the hindsight made me write this article for you. My bed is made. Years ago, I accepted the lifelong consequences of my terrible decision. But I hope you choose the opposite track. If this can help a person avoid this dangerous state, then my experience has not vanished. Choose to be part of his/her life and give yourself and your child a wonderful gift. I can tell you from experience that you will regret not doing this.
Orignal From: Pain lessons from father - confession
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