Anger is a normal emotion that may be helpful in certain situations, such as emotions related to survival and self-protection. We also see that when you feel angry, resorting to aggression is often a strong temptation. Aggression may be suitable to ensure your safety, but in most cases it is not necessary, just arouse the situation.
Steven Laurent proposes a series of techniques for reducing anger, thus limiting the likelihood of reacting to unnecessary aggression. I will list some of his suggestions and my comments on them:
- Understanding anger is a problem. Perhaps more accurately, anger is sometimes a problem. We have seen that anger is a normal human emotion. As long as it is limited to a short-term emotional response, will not take over your life and will not stay for a long time, you don't have to worry. If your anger quickly escalates to anger, that is a problem. If you continue to think about things that irritate you, it will affect your body system, as we see it, and cause a lack of emotional balance in your life.
- Monitor your anger. It is useful to pay attention to many things in your life, including your emotions. The more you realize, the more likely you are to change the model, which will make life more difficult for you and the people around you. You may feel angry is a problem, or you may hear the anger of others affected by anger. Laurent recommends recording disturbing events, the anger they cause and your reaction. It sounds a bit boring, but it may be a good way to track how you manage your anger. It's easier to see patterns when you write patterns in your angry diary. Writing also gives you the opportunity to think about what you are doing, rather than reacting automatically.
- Be angry, don't do it anyway. Laurent suggests that you will be aware of your anger, but don't rush to respond. He prefers to think about your feelings and feelings. Waiting for a response after you have had the opportunity to consider this situation will help you understand the available alternatives. Writing down your thoughts in angry journals will also help you understand your thinking process.
- Take care. Some things make it harder for you to manage your anger constructively. One is your health. When you feel exhausted, you will not be able to think clearly about how to react. This is also the case if you are in a bad mood or are affected by alcohol or other drugs.
- Understand the ultimate source of anger: "ordering." Here you can tell yourself what to do, especially for others and how they interact with you. Most people have fairly clear expectations about how they want others to treat them, which is good. When you position yourself to judge how people should react, you are more likely to react to anger and see it as a job of correcting or even punishing them. At the same time, it is recommended not to judge other people.
- sympathy. You probably know how you want to react in any given situation, at least you have faced it. However, the surprise is waiting for you to lose balance. If someone asks why you react in some way, you might tell them why. Instead of judging people who act in different ways, consider that they may look at things differently. If you take the time to understand why others are doing this and act in their way, you will find it easier to reduce your judgment.
- Straight to understand the facts. One of the main reasons for anger at others is that you make false assumptions about them. You may think that you are hostile to you, know what your needs and desires are, or know what might cause you anger. In fact, these assumptions are not true.
Orignal From: Managing anger and aggression
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