Everyone has those damn hot buttons; things that disappoint them; triggering a similar explosion or implosion in their bodies. People are often afraid of anger because its destruction, hurt, pain, pain and guilt follow or follow. When you react to the pain or suffering of you or someone else's reaction to things that cause you anger, stress or frustration, you know it's time to deal with your feelings in different ways!
How do you define anger? What makes your heart beat, your blood vessels twitch, your head explodes? What makes your body full of incredible tension or tie your belly together? Does any of these symptoms sound or feel familiar? Are you afraid of your anger or someone else's? Are you walking around the eggshell for fear of letting someone leave, or walking on the eggshell for fear of disappointing you? Either way, it means that you are not living in love and respect for who you are.
Anger is energy: intense, sometimes terrible and often unstoppable, but it is just energy. Most people are afraid of this feeling because of past negative information about anger. Parents often tell their children not to be angry, or when they grow up, they will be affected by their parents' anger and hurt emotionally and/or physically. We bring these negative beliefs into our bodies and minds and react to our anger in the way we learn to survive in our families. Maybe you grew up in an angry home. Maybe your parents yell, throw things, hit you [you or other] damaged things, and so on. You must learn to live in that atmosphere. How did you learn to deal with it? Are you becoming aggressive or becoming scared, passive or peaceful? Maybe you grew up in a more sinister home. Maybe love is concealed, or you have received some news that you disapprove, or some disappointing news, or an obvious silence. Most people grow up in these two extreme families. What is your current living atmosphere? What kind of home did you create for yourself and your loved ones?
Anger is a hot topic [no pun intended]. This is a feeling that everyone has an experience, but few people really want to talk, talk or deal with it. I want you to focus on the moment of really "letting your blood boil." What makes you "see red"? Please note that both of these issues blame the external environment or behavior as if you were unable to control your own response to the environment. Often, events that trigger a strong reaction are related to your history, not to the events at hand. Why are you so angry about things that might otherwise be considered minor or negligent? What is your reaction to history? I hope that you start thinking about the root cause of your reaction so that you can choose what you want to respond to, rather than feeling forced or forced to react to it. The result of the goal or expectation is to feel the ability to cause stress. Even if people explode, they look so powerful and terrifying, in fact, they operate in a very weak and powerless space. People deep inside may be under control and intimidation, but they do feel weak and powerless. People who are truly empowered, concentrated and grounded do not need violence or belittle behavior. At the moment of total frustration, anger and stress, what is the real control: you or your feelings? How do you really react to this? What are your feelings at those moments? What do you really need or want?
Let yourself sit down and think about your last anger, frustration or stress. How fast do you feel physically stressed and the entire system becomes a "red alert"? stop! Breathe! focus! What happened inside you? How does your feeling resonate most strongly in your body? JUST BREATHE --- Let yourself focus on your body feelings. Is your nervousness in your heart; in your mind; in your chest; in your throat; in your legs; and so on. ? Breathe your feelings. Don't do anything! Pay attention to how hard it is to sit down. Feel the energy through you. Energy begging expression: Now you decide how to express it! Remember, if you express this energy and you or someone else is hurt [emotionally or physically], you will feel guilty, and then the loop of loss of control and powerlessness will continue.
You have a choice! Because of anger, stress and frustration are variations of the same energy, and stem from the powerless, helpless, and fragile space, so the desired result is to do it yourself in the face of these feelings. Therefore, choosing the way to give your feelings is to deal with those damn hot buttons. We can't control things that can cause us to get out of control, but once the trigger triggers, we can control our handling of feelings. Maybe you need to run, hurry, scream into the pillow, hit a punching bag, vent your feelings with a good friend or counselor until you are ready to communicate with someone you really get angry, or you need a vacuum, so you not only You can release a lot of energy, and you can speak loudly without anyone hearing you. Some people like to yell at the top of the lungs. [Do this privately - the purpose is to release your anger privately, not to release your anger in anyone else.] Any of these choices are healthy, harmless to you or anyone else, and they will give you the opportunity to release Your energy so that you can think and focus on the way you really want, in a way that you can love, respect and sympathize with yourself and anyone else who might be involved. When dealing with anger, you must remember not to hit when the iron is hot, but wait until the iron cools. There is no positive or productive thing in communicating with hostility, hatred or aggressiveness. The goal is to respect communication; for yourself and those participants.
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In the next few days, weeks and months, slowly, take a deep breath and exhale: "The result I hope is to be safe with the most challenging feeling. I release it in a way that respects myself and the people around me. And express my feelings." Take a deep breath and let it resonate in your body.
Orignal From: Anger management - hot buttons and how to cool them
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