Monday, April 15, 2019

Baby boomers need to stop making happiness a goal

Studies have shown that younger generations of baby boomers consistently report the lowest levels of well-being and the surprisingly high rate of depression.

The basis of my blog is that these studies describe the baby boomer generation, because the generation that lives in doom and frustration is not necessarily a self-fulfilling prophecy. In our 1950s and 1960s, I did not let these happiness studies make us hopeless, but instead focused on finding ways to be happy in difficult times.

But can you work hard to be happy? Should you target happiness? The more you think you are fighting for happiness, the more you seem to avoid you? Does the media make you feel happy like a button that pushes you to immediate happiness?
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  It sounds like a strange question from a blogger who is writing about finding happiness.

However, a recent study showed that those who target happiness are reported to have a positive mood of less than 50%, a 35% reduction in life satisfaction, and a 75% reduction in depressive symptoms.

Maybe that's why I recently noticed that happiness is not as popular as it used to be. A few years ago, Happiness Science became the cover of the Times and Oprah magazines. Happiness articles and quotes make the internet saturated. Strive for happiness in the entire industry of life coaches, motivational speakers, and psychotherapists - yes, happiness blogs are like mine.

But are you tired of being pretending to be happy? Are you tired of the media and telling us that no matter what happens in your life, do you have a positive attitude?

Jimmie Holland, MD, a psychiatrist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital in New York, coined the term "positive thinking tyranny."

Sometimes, the baby boomer generation may be bullied, thinking that if we don't wake up every morning, our face will smile forever - this is wrong for us.

Social media didn't help. When I described some of the experiments I had faced in the past few years, a friend told me, "I will never guess. Yes, I think I have fallen into a trap and only post photos that look like I have always had my own. Life time - of course, I am not, but this is a fictional world where we all live with social media.

Commercial advertising also makes us feel that happiness is a right. The instant feel you can buy with a new sports car or new shoes.

The truth is that everyone has problems. No one has been very happy. This is what Regina Brett quoted: "If we all put our problems together and see everyone else, we will catch them."

In fact, most people are worse than the happy pictures you draw on Facebook. Maybe it's time for our baby boomers to quit comparing our happiness & others. Give up "a happy life forever" and we all want to achieve some kind of reward.

Negative emotions are normal under normal circumstances

I read an interesting article on Spike, a happy fallacy. The article pointed out that a study by health insurance company Aviva showed that one in four adults in the UK suffer from stress, anxiety or depression and did not seek help because they felt embarrassed because of "mental health."

"This kind of normal, eternal human emotions such as stress, anxiety and depression are now placed within the scope of mental health problems, how strange it is," columnist Patrick Weiss wrote. "Schizophrenia, a bipolar disorder that prevents people from getting up for a few days of clinical depression: these conditions are classified as mental illness."

He has a point of view. West believes that it is natural to worry or feel depressed from time to time. These are normal human emotions, somehow becoming morbid.

Suddenly, negative emotions are thought to be a disease or disorder - they must be cured immediately. This is becoming apparent as the pharmaceutical industry has a variety of "happy pills" like PEZ Candy. I mean, if there are no prescriptions like Xanax, Zoloft, Prozac, Valium and Ambien, how do our parents and grandparents survive?

You are very delicate, just like you

Lancet is a well-known medical journal that published a study of 700,000 middle-aged women and found that there may be no connection between happiness and health.

What's more interesting than the results is people's reactions, and grumpy people cheer because they no longer have to assert that their bad attitudes endanger their health. Others are annoyed and find that all their happy efforts may not bring health and longevity as they imagined.

But that's the way it is. The dizzying happiness that all of us are looking for is not the norm. Life can sometimes be a struggle, full of disappointment, failure and challenge.

Many people who aim to be happy are trying to avoid the uncomfortable negative emotions caused by normal ups and downs in life. We cannot always be happy. Our baby boomer generation is old enough to be smart enough to know that happiness can be short-lived and fickle.

Whenever someone can't be Pollyanna, everyone will have those heartbreaking moments. For example, a few years ago, after seeing my mother suffer from a terrible disease, I did not cheer for it. When I first started writing, I was not very satisfied when my mailbox was full of rejection letters. I was ecstatic when the person I love betrayed me. You get my drift.

Should we still strive for a positive attitude? of course. Will we always achieve it? No.

Iris Mauss' pioneering work supports the view that the pursuit of happiness may actually bring more harm than good. "When people want to be happy, they set higher standards so they are more likely to fail," she said. "In turn, this can lead to greater dissatisfaction, which in turn reduces happiness and well-being."

Moss explained that she did not say, "Don't try to be happy," #39; she pointed out that if you give people the right tools, they can increase happiness and happiness. This is an exaggerated concern about happiness that may have shortcomings.

No matter where you fall off the happiness spectrum - this is partly due to your genes - self-acceptance is key.

Let's face it, I will never be dizzy and smirk, but that doesn't matter. If you are a serious side like me, then you can be comforted by studies that show too much happiness, which will make you credulous, selfish and less successful. In fact, a little bit of unhappiness can motivate us to make the necessary changes in our lives.

Happiness should not be a goal

"Happiness is not a goal... it is a by-product of a good life," Eleanor Roosevelt said famously.

So let all the happiness become the goal. The goal is to achieve the goal. Try to meet. Focus on inspiration and adventure. Find the purpose and meaning of life.

If your baby boomer makes these your goals, you are more likely to feel the joy and happiness you have been looking for, not even tried.




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